As horrifying as the goriest death ballad or country tragedy, no amount of listens can change the awful outcome – our Wendy* leaves the club with Mockney lech Mike Sarne, stepping out for a promised “slap and tickle”. The delight in Sarne’s voice as his constant pestering wins him a fumble rather than a harrassment suit is one of pop’s more unpleasant sounds. The bad ending aside this is jaunty and catchy – though obnoxious – and Richard is good fun. But if ever a song was begging for an answer record to right its wrong, this is the one.
*yes, that Wendy Richard.
Score: 2
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Doctor Mod says:
I finally managed to hear this one. It’s not so much that it’s truly awful–a lot of pre-1963 pop is–but rather it’s so unabashed and absolute in its determination to wallow in absolute tackyness. If you must be awful, at least be that way deliberately. This one certainly tries.
This doesn’t quite meet the criteria for being pure camp–though schlocky it is in the extreme. I hadn’t realized that Sarne, in his later career as a film director, was responsible for one of the grand masterpieces of cinematic camp: Myra Breckinridge, in which Rex Reed is surgically transformed into Raquel Welch.
Some say it’s the worst movie ever made. I teach the novel in my queer lit course and, after giving the caveat that the contents of the film might be offensive to everyone and anyone can walk out anytime they want to, I show them this stunning gem of excess and bad taste. In ten years, only one student has complained–most of them LOVE it, and my best and brightest see it as a devastatingly funny critique and utterly damning critique of American social and sexual mores.
Maybe there really is something more to “Come Outside” than meets the ear–just what, though, I don’t know. But I wonder if Myra is lurking somewhere inside that song. In the film, she seemed quite adept at slapping–if not exactly tickling. Not the sort of girl to ask to “Come Outside.”
Mike Sarne managed to have a follow-up hit, Will I What?, the same formula but with Billie Davis (of Tell Him and Jet Harris connection)doing he spoken bits. His moment in the sun sort of fitted in with the records of the time by Bernard Cribbens and the Carry On films. A bit saucy,but basically safe
Check out my answer to Mike Sarne’s record, my short film “Come Outside” on http://www.ubik-kollective.com
I sent Mike Sarne a copy and still haven’t heard from him although Ricky Gervais loves it, Hurtt x
Yes, I’m really old, but I remember Mike Sarne appearing as the MC for junion Criss Cross Quiz.
fuckin wankers you are all nobheads
cunts n bastards
Wendy R did record an answer song of sorts called Keep ‘Em Looking Around, with its rather prim refrain “come along girls”. It was recorded as a duet with Diana Berry, aka Julie Samuel, Gerry Marsden’s girl in Ferry ‘Cross The Mersey, and Sarah Cracknell’s (real life) mum.
There’s also Ken Cope’s Hands Off Stop Muckin’ About in which he sounds exactly like Billy Fisher’s greasy nemesis (name escapes me) in Billy Liar. Cope starts off in Sarne mode – “I met this doll at the local ‘op and fancied ‘er right away”- but the payoff is that when this “doll” is all over him he’s all a fluster: “you’re creasin’ me mohair suit!” Uproarious.
And then again there’s The Boiler by The Specials, Come Outside produced by Alan Clarke.
I’ve always thought Wendy was playing hard to get on Come Outside, which Mike has figured out all along. So it doesn’t offend me… it’s just an irritating novelty song.
wichita, you mean Stamp, don’t you? BL remains one of my favourite films. Funny how film easily survives the music of the time.
I quite like this, I think it’s a jolly little tune and all he’s after (in spite of his bravado) is some alone time in the moonlight with his best girl, and maybe a kiss. If he does try for any slap and tickle he’s going to get LAMPED. A charming period piece and one that I’d be happy to revisit any time, about a 7 from me.
RIP Wendy R.
Vicious old trout – good riddance
Hmm – Popular is a broad church and a tolerant one, but I think most of us would be happy with a bit of censorship in respect of the above comment!
in the world of wierd I was in Freeport outlet mall in Fleetwood Yesterday
in one of the shops 60’s stuff was playing
along came Mike Sarne and Wendy Richards
With Come outside Not being soap fans Wendy was just that Girl in the song along With Miss Brahms.
Yep she was a little outspoken abrasive in later tv apperances
Well she might have been, suffering with Breast Cancer and enduring the treatments.
DESERT ISLAND DISCS WATCH:
Ted Willis, writer(1963).
did they use to play this on Junior Showtime? It feels like I’ve known it for a long time. It’s like a (very) poor man’s version of “Baby it’s cold outside’ which has also been criticised for its sexual politics. This song hardly seems worth defending. Mike Sarne plays the role of pathetically lecherous juvenile male while Wendy Richards is confidently rebuffs him, ‘as a good girl should’. Sarne repeats his whiney request until Richards eventually relents but she still sounds in control. It’s a very British view of sexuality, familiar from saucy postcards and Carry On films – sad and dreary
Grim stuff in my opinion. 1/10 here.