ALVIN STARDUST – "Jealous Mind"

Hmm, certainly the third and arguably the fourth Number One in a row with traceable 1950s influences (did That’ll Be The Day kick something off there?), but also by far the slightest, and little more than a brand extension for the amusingly preposterous former Shane Fenton/former Bernard Jewry; not nearly as much fun as “My Coo-Ca-Choo” (which we all loved), but the first hit gave the second hit enough fuel on which to run. I’ve always struggled to remember how it goes, Buddy Holly-esque hook line aside. Written and produced by Pete “Love Me Love My Dog”/”Not The One Out Of The Buzzcocks” Shelley, lest we forget.

Despite not particularly going a bundle on “Jealous Mind”, I bought Alvin’s album (The Untouchable), and am at a loss to understand why – what strange spell had he cast over Britain’s pre-teens? My first dud album, that was.

Alvin was another one of those early 70s stars whose 60s career would make an interesting study – i.e. what were Mud, Sweet, ELO etc doing while they were paying their dues? Unlike even Paul Raven, Shane Fenton had hits pre-Merseybeat, and the story goes that he tried to avoid Jimmy Savile at TOTP because he didn’t want to be recognised! Apparently he was working cruise ships by the late 60s, and his revival was another facet of the strong rock’n’roll strain of the era (it went back well before “That’ll Be The Day” I think – maybe you can even trace r’n’r revivalism back as far as Sha Na Na playing Woodstock?

I’ve always found that pathologically jealous protagonists make for rather unpleasant lyrics – see also the Beatles’ “You Can’t Do That”. Agree about the guitar sound though, Tom – nice and crisp and makes for a good distinctive intro.

Other key fact – the biggest hit for the Magnet label run by Michael (now Lord) Levy, the archetypal Tony’s Crony.

Urggh, I’d forgotten Mike Batt wrote that – a worse lyric than “Nine Million Bicycles”!

And then, less than a decade later: “I won’t run away…the baby’s mine too…” Feckless glammer knuckles down to familial responsibilities!

Ah, but he also twisted the gloved hand upside down to hold the microphone as though about to go into “alas, poor Yorick” though it may have been to prevent the site of his green dye gel running down in the heat of the studio lights and unloosening his stick-on sideburns.

This record more or less marks the end of the glam number one boom in earnest; most of the rest of 1974’s chart toppers got there on an individual song/record basis rather than being performed by “stars” as such.

If it’s the same guitarist as on Coo ca choo then he also does a sterling job on that single. Jealous Mind would probably be a better single if MCCC hadn’t hadn’t existed as it pretty much covers the same ground albeit in a slightly less interesting fashion. Alvin’s ‘thing’ was to wear black leather, stand perfectly still and have his hand impersonate a microphone stand – that was it. It was never going to be a long term tilt at stardom with that weak a concept. Again it’s disappointing from a historical perspective that JM made no.1 and MCCC didn’t, but quite simply the competition wasn’t as stiff. While glam began its death throes, elsewhere in the chart we saw the debut of the ubiquitous ‘Candle In The Wind’, Maccas excellent ‘Jet’ and the Rollers with ‘Remember sha la la la’ starting to exert their grip on the girly teen population.

Bear in mind that it was only on top for one, presumably very slow, week.

At some point Alvin Stardust was married to ultra smiley actress Liza “Give Us a Clue” Goddard, another lady who eased effortlessly onto Waldo’s Wishlist of Never-to-bes. I actually much preferred her in her guise of classy tea leaf Philippa Vale from “Bergerac”, which provided the odd Clodagh Rodgers Moment but never mind that. The other thing which interested me about Alvin was how erudite he clearly was. Ample proof of this was provided when he appeared more than once in the centre space of “Celebrity Squares”, no place for a fuckwit. True, he still pointed out at you with that stupid glove of his from under his fringe but you’ll forgive anything to someone who knew that Fray Bentos was a town in Uruguay.

As for “Jealous Mind”, this is the only one of Alvin’s records I bought and it was his only Number One, as we all know. Listening to it now, it seems like something out of nothing and it appears to be over in a blink, just like those earlier discs by Adam Faith, a clear influence. My Stardust preference, in fact, became the equally dull “Red Dress” but that’s only because at school myself and a kid called Neil Harris penned an absolutely disgusting lyric to it, which I’m certainly not reproducing here.

Talking of overblown, as I was doing when I appended a remark to the last entry just now, this performance reminds me somewhat of Tommy Steele attempting “Singin’ the Blues” (qv), going into all kinds of vocal contortions in order to sound hip and American. (Of course, Steele was shown up by the real American Guy Mitchell being perfectly lucid)

Does anyone (Marc?) remember Alvin’s first appearance on “Lift Off” where he appeared in a gold afro wig, one half of himself painted gold (the left half), the other silver?

Blimey. On my own here. The excessive slapback echo (which I guess is what Alvin’s vocal is playing on, Be Bop A Lula style), brevity, and all-round crispness have always made this a big one for me. Yes, he seemed sinister (Sparks appearing in the same year to doubly freak out pre-teens), but every time he pulled that glove trick my mum would tut and say he’d pinched it from Dave Berry.

Quick mention for Baby Blue by Micky Moonshine on Decca, the only Alvin S wannabe I can think of. Great Moogy instrumental version of the A-side or Wigan dancer Name It You Got It on the flip, depending which issue you pick up. Win win!

I’m pretty sure “Errol Flynn” was “Errol Brown”, the RAK label being a big clue.

Poor Alvin, almost as heavily dissed as Don McLean! The wimpy vocal and sinister glove chime well enough for me, in the same way that I like to hear tough guys (Laine, Shannon, Orbison, the almost forgotten Dee Clark) brought to their knees until they scream out their agony in a falsetto.

Not quite sure what this says about me.

Well, looking at it and the previous record in the RAK cataloguing series, “Emma” on http://www.beautiful-records.com/discographies/RAK/RAK_199.htm I’d say no: The production credits and publishing companies are different, and as you say: How would they have promoted this while the chocs were in their purple patch, hitwise…

This is glam’s answer to “Paul Is Dead”. Tell us more Wichita!

Erithian, will attempt to verify… now… must… work…

The “Kenny” singles ran in succession.

Tony Kenny had two singles (both UK hits) as Kenny, both falsetto style, but I get the impression he went back to Ireland rather than have to continue singing like that all the time. (His next singles as himself were the “Hey won’t you play another somebody done somebody wrong song” country styles.)

So, rather than abandon a hit-making alias, Mickie Most hired a UK band to take over.