I’ve argued before that there are no good songs about how lovely small children are: some counter-examples were raised in the comments box, but not many, and this surely wasn’t one of them. “Save Your Kisses For Me” is the kind of chirpy material that used to give Eurovision a bad name before the smirkers got hold of it: catchy, but too winsome to really enjoy. I’d point to it as a classic example of cynical Britain fobbing off any old rubbish on the song contest, except Brotherhood of Man actually won the thing. Especially heinous elements: the root-i-toot toy trumpet riff, the persistent triangle accompaniment, the “awwww” final chords after the twist. THE TWIST. Path to redemption: the opening irresistibly reminds me of “Mother’s Little Helper”.

Score: 2

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