MIKE SARNE WITH WENDY RICHARD – "Come Outside"

As horrifying as the goriest death ballad or country tragedy, no amount of listens can change the awful outcome – our Wendy* leaves the club with Mockney lech Mike Sarne, stepping out for a promised “slap and tickle”. The delight in Sarne’s voice as his constant pestering wins him a fumble rather than a harrassment suit is one of pop’s more unpleasant sounds. The bad ending aside this is jaunty and catchy – though obnoxious – and Richard is good fun. But if ever a song was begging for an answer record to right its wrong, this is the one.

*yes, that Wendy Richard.

Score: 2

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Anonymous

28 January 2006 15:19

Doctor Mod says:

I finally managed to hear this one. It’s not so much that it’s truly awful–a lot of pre-1963 pop is–but rather it’s so unabashed and absolute in its determination to wallow in absolute tackyness. If you must be awful, at least be that way deliberately. This one certainly tries.

This doesn’t quite meet the criteria for being pure camp–though schlocky it is in the extreme. I hadn’t realized that Sarne, in his later career as a film director, was responsible for one of the grand masterpieces of cinematic camp: Myra Breckinridge, in which Rex Reed is surgically transformed into Raquel Welch.

Some say it’s the worst movie ever made. I teach the novel in my queer lit course and, after giving the caveat that the contents of the film might be offensive to everyone and anyone can walk out anytime they want to, I show them this stunning gem of excess and bad taste. In ten years, only one student has complained–most of them LOVE it, and my best and brightest see it as a devastatingly funny critique and utterly damning critique of American social and sexual mores.

Maybe there really is something more to “Come Outside” than meets the ear–just what, though, I don’t know. But I wonder if Myra is lurking somewhere inside that song. In the film, she seemed quite adept at slapping–if not exactly tickling. Not the sort of girl to ask to “Come Outside.”

bramble

8 September 2006 22:58

Mike Sarne managed to have a follow-up hit, Will I What?, the same formula but with Billie Davis (of Tell Him and Jet Harris connection)doing he spoken bits. His moment in the sun sort of fitted in with the records of the time by Bernard Cribbens and the Carry On films. A bit saucy,but basically safe

Rob Hurtt

13 October 2007 22:12

Check out my answer to Mike Sarne’s record, my short film “Come Outside” on http://www.ubik-kollective.com
I sent Mike Sarne a copy and still haven’t heard from him although Ricky Gervais loves it, Hurtt x

Frances Berry

16 January 2008 23:32

Yes, I’m really old, but I remember Mike Sarne appearing as the MC for junion Criss Cross Quiz.

jeff

26 January 2008 08:59

fuckin wankers you are all nobheads
cunts n bastards

wichita lineman

31 May 2008 16:25

Wendy R did record an answer song of sorts called Keep ‘Em Looking Around, with its rather prim refrain “come along girls”. It was recorded as a duet with Diana Berry, aka Julie Samuel, Gerry Marsden’s girl in Ferry ‘Cross The Mersey, and Sarah Cracknell’s (real life) mum.

There’s also Ken Cope’s Hands Off Stop Muckin’ About in which he sounds exactly like Billy Fisher’s greasy nemesis (name escapes me) in Billy Liar. Cope starts off in Sarne mode – “I met this doll at the local ‘op and fancied ‘er right away”- but the payoff is that when this “doll” is all over him he’s all a fluster: “you’re creasin’ me mohair suit!” Uproarious.

And then again there’s The Boiler by The Specials, Come Outside produced by Alan Clarke.

I’ve always thought Wendy was playing hard to get on Come Outside, which Mike has figured out all along. So it doesn’t offend me… it’s just an irritating novelty song.

rosie

14 June 2008 19:15

wichita, you mean Stamp, don’t you? BL remains one of my favourite films. Funny how film easily survives the music of the time.

Matthew

12 January 2009 05:48

I quite like this, I think it’s a jolly little tune and all he’s after (in spite of his bravado) is some alone time in the moonlight with his best girl, and maybe a kiss. If he does try for any slap and tickle he’s going to get LAMPED. A charming period piece and one that I’d be happy to revisit any time, about a 7 from me.

Tom

26 February 2009 13:51

RIP Wendy R.

Franly Frontyboarlandrairnmaganda

26 February 2009 16:12

Vicious old trout – good riddance

Erithian

26 February 2009 16:25

Hmm – Popular is a broad church and a tolerant one, but I think most of us would be happy with a bit of censorship in respect of the above comment!

Densnaps

26 February 2009 18:36

in the world of wierd I was in Freeport outlet mall in Fleetwood Yesterday
in one of the shops 60’s stuff was playing
along came Mike Sarne and Wendy Richards
With Come outside Not being soap fans Wendy was just that Girl in the song along With Miss Brahms.
Yep she was a little outspoken abrasive in later tv apperances
Well she might have been, suffering with Breast Cancer and enduring the treatments.

crag

13 April 2011 14:43

DESERT ISLAND DISCS WATCH:

Ted Willis, writer(1963).

lonepilgrim

22 January 2015 10:58

did they use to play this on Junior Showtime? It feels like I’ve known it for a long time. It’s like a (very) poor man’s version of “Baby it’s cold outside’ which has also been criticised for its sexual politics. This song hardly seems worth defending. Mike Sarne plays the role of pathetically lecherous juvenile male while Wendy Richards is confidently rebuffs him, ‘as a good girl should’. Sarne repeats his whiney request until Richards eventually relents but she still sounds in control. It’s a very British view of sexuality, familiar from saucy postcards and Carry On films – sad and dreary

Gareth Parker

8 June 2021 23:52

Grim stuff in my opinion. 1/10 here.

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MIKE SARNE WITH WENDY RICHARD – "Come Outside"

ELVIS PRESLEY – "Good Luck Charm"

RAY CHARLES – "I Can't Stop Loving You"

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