If I was being crass (never!) I’d say this was a dance record – steady beat, cycling melody, simple repeated lyrical hook. And it is a dance record: a lazy, slow, respectable sort of dance record. The entry of the organ at 1’30” is the most ‘fifties-evocative’ thing I’ve heard yet – except it evokes an imagined 50s, learned from Hi-De-Hi and English murder mysteries, last dances in the Hawaiian ballroom and the gentle tap of heel on lacquer. I cannot imagine any circumstances in which anyone today would want to or get to hear this record unless they were embarked on some idiotic scheme like this one.

Score: 4

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